....so here i am on a saturday night blogging....yes, it's bs when someone calls the day-of to cancel a night-out. What's a girl do - but blog & bitch!
There are a couple of things to keep me busy in the meantime. I can get my "feel-sorry-for-me" fat ass cookies. Or I can grab a random munchie-buffet variety. But since I had gained a couple of vanity pounds, I have a couple of new snack'in patterns I've been holding onto. Have you heard of "Go LEAN" Crunch? Let me just tell you - forget about the colonic treatments and your grandmothers' metamucil - I introduce you to the rectal party train!!
Normally, I mix fruit & vanilla non-fat yogurt. But every once in a while, I just like something crunchie! For some idiot reason, I never learn. There should be warning signs on this box, like:
- WARNING: Do not eat more than recommended serving of 1 cup AND think it's not going
to get you later; it will.
- DO be NEAR a restroom at all times; not public.
- Do not attempt on a long road trip, or drive the convertible
- Do not attempt on the same or FOLLOWING night of a hot "date"
- Do not attempt any rigorous exercises; this includes yoga ladies & gents
- Do not avoid any warning signs of trouble; Mount Vesuvius will erupt.
- Do not eat in conjunction with any other fiber treatments (i.e. FiberOne bars, pills, powder, vegetables); in any event you have just OD'ed! call your mother
I can go on about my troubles, but man when you think it's over it's usually not?
A friend of mine suggested I try eating GoLEAN the night before and figure things out in the morning ;) But will this give me nightmares? or will the 'unmentionable' happen in my sleep?
Whatever the case, I love the cleanse. The side effects are entertaining. I just have to pace myself or else my insides will be crying for an ibuprofen.
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